Redefining the Holidays: Creating Space for Peace, Not Pressure
Anne Hall • December 1, 2025
The holiday season is often described as “the most wonderful time of the year”—but for many of us, it’s also the most overwhelming. Between social expectations, financial pressures, disrupted routines, and the emotional weight of family dynamics, it’s no surprise that this time of year can feel complicated.
If you’re navigating stress, mixed feelings, or simply trying to stay grounded, here’s a gentle guide to help you move through the season with more ease and intention.
Acknowledge That Your Experience Is Valid
Not everyone feels joyful during the holidays, and that’s okay. Maybe you’re missing someone, recovering from a tough year, or just not in the celebratory mood. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel—no guilt, no pressure. Remember, your emotional experience doesn’t have to match the greeting card version of the holidays.
Set Boundaries (And Actually Keep Them)
The holiday calendar can fill up fast. Before you know it, every weekend is booked and you’re running on fumes. Boundaries help! Here are some suggestions on what boundaries might look like for this holiday season. Say “I’m not able to make it this time” when needed. Set financial limits for gifts and stick to them. Take breaks during family gatherings, no, really, it's ok! Boundaries sometimes feel "mean", but it is crucial to realize they aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about staying well.
Define What the Holidays Mean to You
Traditions don’t have to be inherited—they can be created. Just because your family has always done things a certain way, doesn't mean you have to. Ask yourself: What actually brings me joy? What do I want this season to feel like? What can I let go of this year?
What defines your holidays might be a cozy movie night, volunteering, a simple dinner with people you love, or an unplugged weekend. You get to choose.
Prepare for Emotional Triggers
Family gatherings can stir up old dynamics or unresolved feelings. While you may not master them this holiday, you can start! Here are some things that I have found to be helpful.
1. Have a code word or signal to your spouse or trusted family member if you are feeling triggered or overwhelmed so that they can step in and help you.
2. Plan an exit strategy if things get tense. You don't have to stay in an uncomfortable situation.
3. Check in with yourself before and after gatherings.
4. Once things settle down after the holidays, go over things that didn't go well. Make a log of things you don't want to do again next year, or how you want to do things differently.
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. This may be the Christmas that you start making changes that will allow you to eventually feel like you own your holiday. You don’t need to do everything, be everywhere, or feel a certain way. What matters most is finding what feels manageable, nourishing, and true to who you are.
Here’s to a season filled with gentleness, intention, and moments of genuine peace. And, if you need help navigating any of these points, I'd be happy to help.
